Hmmm

sorry i haven't been posting. my birthday in Friday was off the hook! i ate loads and loads. and had a lil binge today, i scrapped my plan because it wasn't working out, i can't avoid carbs, carbs is all i eat.

so maybe i can have a sandwich for lunch and and egg for dinner or something, all i know is i only wanna eat 2 meals a day.
Ive put on weight!!!! because of all this binging starving binging, ugh i hate it, i just wanna wash all this fat off. seeing all these girl getting their skirts on for the summer and me hiding behind some trousers. my skirt is probably all dusty now.

starting fro tomorrow i will have 2 meals a day and i will stick to this plan this time, its time to get serious. lets stop the envy and stop the dreaming. actions speak louder than words. let me be thin!

i will post and tell you how I'm doing. thanks for sticking by me guys even though I'm horrible at sticking to things. but here's some thinspo:

xx

Join me ladies!

I've been doing badly lately so i set up a plan for myself. i will only eat 2 meals a day. a sandwhich or pizza at lunch and then potato salad for dinner, small servings only. JOIN ME LADIES.
something strange happened though, we're doing this work on healthy eating and one of the sections was undereating and we had to write down all the long term effects of undereating and anorexia. it was scary. again i'm not anorexic, but i am undereating. hopefully i will lose weight quick and keep it off the healthy way. i don't wanna die.

school was a bore, my best friedn was off today and i'm not really as close to my other 2 friends that much so it was really boring.

anywhoo i'm trying to avoid carbs and failing since carbs is all i ever eat at school and at home, some of you know my fave food is pasta, rice, sandwiches and more carbs. i need to cut them out completely. but it will take time, but i'll let you know about my program on this new plan and hopefully i stick to it. my birthday on friday, YESSS but theres gonna be alcohol and loadsa snacks. but i will make up for it.

bye bye girls! xxx

Could bad mean good also?

I'm feeling VERY ill today, very. which is a bad thing of course. this might sound crazy but the good thing about being ill is that i lose my appetite. i haven't eaten anything so far which is good. i'm hoping that i could make this a fasting day or i could just eat a peanut butter sandwich later on.
wohoooo, watch me burn that fat girls!

I'm sorry but i do have good news!

for not posting in a while, i just didn't wanna tell you guys how bad I've been doing :(
reaaaly bad. today's going good, I'm on 681 and that was gonna be my final total, til my mum dropped a bombshell- she's taking us (me and my sisters) to McDonald's in about 20 mins. and i cannot just sit there and not eat. great. i calculated how many calories my final would be if i go to mcds and its ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED AND FIVE!!! unbelievable.

i do have good news however, I'm losing weight, even though I've done so shit these days i guess my weird eating habits are actually working. i know this because my school trousers are starting to slightly slip down. wohoo! i don't really notice it when i look at my legs but i see it when i wear the trousers, before they fitted me perfectly, now their to big. i want ALL my clothes to be too big, especially my jeggings, they make my legs look so fat i hate wearing them, but sooner or later my legs will look like thin silky poles in them, and i cannot wait.

so i guess today will turn out to be a major binge, but i will make up for it tomorrow by just eating a sandwich for lunch and some cucumber for dinner.

ciao ladies! xx

I've like done like, sooo well today like.

wohoo i managed 570 calories so far today, it was that apple crumble at school that killed me, and a sandwich which has 430 calories in, 430!!! anyway I'll burn some of that off tonight playing on the wii and doing some cardio from my Natalie cassidy DVD. and if i get hungry I'll eat some boiled celery sticks which only have 6 calories in an 8 inch stalk.

so i went on a site yesterday for some tips and tricks and i wrote down the ones that i can use since most of them were quite. hmm not for me whilst the others were for people who lived alone. you might know these already but I'll share them with you:

1, When you get a craving, count to 100 really slowly, and it might pass.

2, Eat breakfast and lunch or just breakfast, never eat dinner cause if you eat dinner

 3, you don't give your body enough time to burn off the calories.

4, Eat lots of celery ~ a negative cal food too
5, Do 50 sit ups every morning ~ it will raise your metabolism and make you more motivated to do things throughout the day.
6, Drink one glass of water every hour
7, Let yourself binge once a week. and ONLY ONCE.
8,Once a week treat yourself. take a bubble bath..listen to relaxing music, get a massage,
 give yourself a manicure, a facial..etc. anything to pamper yourself...to relax.
9, Stay cold.

hope you can use these.

i think i might plan my day so here goes:
read , watch hollyoaks, revise, revise, exercise, and watch TV.
hopefully all this will take my mind of off eating.

xoxo stay strong
ps thank you all my new followers!! i follow all who follow me :)

Just a lil update ma homiess

so i went up a little in my calories after my last blog i went up to 930 cals, but after a good 45 mins of high impact cardio exercising i'm back down ot the 700s which is good.

I think i post too much?? thoughts on that?

Forced.

Sorry i was forced to eat today :( don't ask why but i was. i was doing so well.

i counted my calories and I'm at 793 calories. its not bad but I'm a bit upset that i didn't stick to my plan of eating at half seven.
ahh well its still a low number.

I don't really have much to say today but its my dad's birthdayy!!!!! whooo! hes 45 now, whats sad is that he doesn't live with us since my parents split up. But I'm happy that today is his birthday and I'm giving him a gift :D

I also received my Chemistry exam results today ( quarter of my final GCSE) and it was a Foundation paper which means that i couldn't get higher than a C and i got a D which I'm really proud of because i was predicted and E SO yeah I'm proud :) But i need to really revise Maths and Science these days really really hard because its time i get over my hate for my teachers and just work hard, its the revision which does my head in because if i don't get it first time round i will still not get it second time round. so tonight i will watch my Maths watch CD and use BBC SCHOOLS to revise. hopefully i will learn something new today. wish me luck guys, i really wanna be good at those to subjects especially maths because its really important, its not really for my future since i want to be a copywriter but i might change my mind later on in life, but i am at an advantage since i am bi-lingual because i speak french, so my french GCSE will put me at an advantage :)

Enough about school. stay strong and you will be thin soon, really soon. just dream of that gap between your thighs. i really want it and i will get it. food will not take over my life.
xoxo

Dear Lent, i hope you are grateful for the calories i shall give you. Love Shareece

I'm not even going to talk/think about how i did today -_- sorry I'm not good enough guys. i really am.

So i love this Lent challenge and its sorta an inspiration for me to stop eating. so I'm giving up food for lent. for 40 days!!!! now now, not food altogether. but i will only eat after Hollyoaks, basically 7.30pm. and it'll be first and last meal of the day. I'm starting this tomorrow. I'm going to literally stare at my thinspo on my phone at school tomorrow if i feel hungry. the only i can eat i grapes during the day and liquids will be water and water with lemon juice for flavour.
You guys can join in too of you want! its a challenge for me and it inspires me so i hope it inspires you too. even if you're a non-believer its still a great thing to do!

stay strong xoxo

Approx 842 calories so far. YES!

that means no snacking tonight whilst watching 90210. FINGERS CROSSED I DO WELL TONIGHT.
xx

bad or good? happy Pancake Day! ha.

So i decided not to count calories today, it just gets really really annoying and i hate it. but this is what i ate.
one plantain: 300 cals
one cookie: dunno
2 sandwiches: dunno
but my two sandwiches killed it! i hope i didn't go over 900, that's my limit.

It's pancake day (shrove tuesday) here in the UK and probs America i don't know. Basically the day where you eat pancakes, its sort of a prep for Lent for catholics anyway. (I'm christian)
I'm so happy because i didn't have pancakes today since we've ran outta eggs. at least it means no huge amount of calories. But i am annoyed at seeing peoples status' on Facebook about their 'yummy' pancakes. it makes me hella hungry.
i think my last meal today will be.... i don't know. urghh i hate this but now i have to look on google about the calories i ate today because i rea;;y don't want to exceed my limit. I'll post those up later.

so here's my life. I've ran outta cred so i can't text the guy i told you about, lets call him 'Stubs' but when i went on stubs' facebook there was a date. 3rd march- Ilove you <3<3 which was two days before we met. i don't know what this means, i know its not about me but i hope he's not going to go out with me on the 'rebound' also he wrote a long thing about a relationship not working out and how much he loved her. and he hasn't texted me since i ran outta credit. (Sunday)
hmmmmm. oh well, boys this age are jerks. I'd rather have a serious relationship when I'm at uni( in 3 years time).

i need to get back into practising my religion. so i'm planning on reading my bible tonight. hopefully I'll understand it. and then i have another book by Horowitz or whatever to take my mind of off eating. so its all good.

thank you for reading babies. xoxo stay strong.

YUM. FATNESS.

More Followers Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please share my blog with others :)

will make a proper update later xx

Well...

sorry i haven't been posting, too much happened over the weekend and i binged. alot! even though i was looking forward to weighing myself, i simply can't.

so my mum's party went pretty well and i went to a youth place and managed to meet this boy, my friends brother who I've only just met, since i was at a sleepover i told my friends and he said that he thought i was fit and i even have his number, but he's a year younger than me, if it was ice versa i wouldn't mind. but yeah it doesn't matter. the thing is that i don't have a good experience with boys, a lot of boys like me not to sound vain but i just dunno what to do. we've been texting alot, until i just ran outta cred and out about 3 unhappy faces and all he could say was oh okay its alright. hmmmm....
its going to be very awkward at the youth thing next week, very. i don't know if I'll be able to talk to him. but i need credit. BADLY. maybe I'm falling too hard for someone whom i don't even know, i am very known for falling too hard to boys. urghh. i might be able to persuade my dad to buy me credit. hopefully.
but enough about him.
the youth thing is next week Saturday, and by then i have to be very thin. so all this week IBM planning to only eat either lunch at school or dinner at home, it depends and then have water for the rest of the day, that will make me lose a lot by then. I'm feeling very paranoid around boys i like because of my fat and huge gap in the side of my teeth. ew its so big and gross i might need braces to fix that.

anywhooo this has been quite long. hope you've had a great weekend and i shall post again tomorrow.
bye bye hunnypie xxx

Sleeping stops you eating.

So i only just woke up and its 2.32pm (UK time) i just ate 4 Philadelphia sandwiches which is baaaaaad, ( 572 calories in total) but the good thing is that since i ate late, i might be hungry again later and i will just have some celery sticks then go to bed. so 572 + some celery won't be a bad total for the day. if i was to eat more then woweeeee that would be bad.

I didn't go school today, watching skins last night and i wasn't able to wake up this morning so i told my mum i had a headache, i hate lying to her so much!
so yeah a day at home, not a lot i can really talk about.

i might have an update later but for now. byebye sweetipiesss xx

My life is full of... stuff.

i took my diet pill late today so i ended being so hungry i had breakfast. i miss those days when i couldn't eat breakfast because i just found eating in the morning makes me feel unwell.
for brekkie i had white bread with Philadelphia soft cheese
and then at school at lunch i had a cheese panini
i feel super hungry you cannot believe it, i wish i took my pill earlier.
i think i might binge. i mean i really want that pasta with may but i cannot deal with my disappointment later.
in total i had 371 calories and if i have my pasta with mayo it'll be around 400 cals or lower, meaning a total of 700 and something. hmm its not that bad i guess, and it will be my last meal of t'day.
but i was hoping for 500 cals or lower. urghhh why cant all foods just have 1 calorie!

on Saturday i have a party that I'm going to cause of my mums business plan whatever. and there will be a lot of people and a lot of food. so i possible can;t avoid overeating. but I'm happy because I've gone three days with eating lower than 900 cals and i feel good casue i'm thinning. ummm what should i do.
i do not purge. i tried once and it worked but its an awful feeling. yuck. so i could maybe eat super low tommorow and then eating shitty fatty food on Saturday and then do my first ever fast on Sunday. that is if my mum decides that we go straight home after church. omg my first fast i hope i have willpower.

I'm also hoping on stealing a book from my school library, that should take my mind of off eating. hopefully. and the diet pill works wonders! apart from the dehydration and bad breath.
this was oh so long.
stay strong ladies xx

"And everythings cool as long as I'm getting thinner"

song- the fear- lily Allen

I'll just start with the numbers alright?

breakfast; diet pill = 0 calories

lunchtime; 1 sl cheese pizza = 230 calories

                 small kit kat; 90 calories

total: 320 calories.

That pizza killed me. i would have gotten a lower if i didn't get tempted today, the pizza was right in front of me. and it was free. so why not? its only one slice right. right. lol you thought i would have said wrong. but no it was only a slice. my friend then offered me a kit kat and i only had one finger of it but i couldn't find the approx calorie for one finger so i counted it as a normal two fingered kit kat.

so my calorie intake today is 500 calories or lower. i was thinking 400 but it would be impossible for me for today.

can i be a bitch?

OK so theres this girl in my year and she's the prettiest girl in our year and all the boys fancy her. ALL. so basically a couple of these guys were in my English class and they sit behind me and every time something happened one of them would just. urghh say something so cocky and annoying. you couldn't tell him to shut up because he'll just say something else utterly annoying. now i might be wrong but i think that white boys prefer white girls, and no its not racist, but the fact that me and my friend are black and he's only ever been horrible to black girls really does my heading! he's not a racist i know for sure he isn't but its all about preference right? i mean i know that there are a couple of white boys who would date a black girl but this is teenage years we're talking about. vain slags and shallow boys and bullies, geeks etc. i just wish we lived in an equal world. equal school. where... i dunno but i just wished things weren't like that. maybe these guys have a bad view on black girls or something like that but yeah, its not like we're not pretty. it just annoys me really.

so i might have a sandwich later on with Philadelphia cheese. YUM! brown bread used of course. i hate how these diet pills give you bad breath because your constantly dehydrated with them so you have to drink water and that stops you eating. hate the feeling.
but I'm not going to be miserable as i have had a great day today. me and my friend got back at that boy anyway because we put Vaseline all over his uniform blazer without him noticing. haha that'll teach the TWAT.

ahh lifee... so many ups, so many downs and so many inbetweens. but a smile can make it better :) so smile...... NOW. go on, exercise those muscles on your face and smile or grin. just do it. you'll feel much better. take a deep breath in your nose and out your mouth and smile. ..................

that's it. now you're slightly better. i hope :)

here's some thinspo to make smile again :D

Stay strong xx

Update (read last post first)

Heyyaaaa, ok so i just had my last meal. i'm in a sticky situation because i just had 2 spoons of creme brulee but i'm not going to count that. its only two spoons and even if i do count it, it will not affect my total calorie amount too much. but i did have;

2 slices of edam cheese; 66 cals

so heres the TOTAL TOTAL of everything i ate today-

301 calories. 301. 301... wow. i did so well
one oreo, 2 spoons of creme brulee, 2 slices of cheese. weirdly enough i feel full. its really strange, i mean the first day i started the diet pills it really didn't work as much as i wanted it to. i was hungry. today i'm hardly hungry. i mean. hey world. I'M FULL after eating just that...less. wow. the thing about these pills is that they make you hella thirsty, being thirsty means i drink water, drinking water means that my body feels full?
whatever it is i'm happy. I'm thinning. i'm not the depressing ana. I'm actually quite a happy person who is just not happy inside the fat in their body. i mean... i might have an EDNO i dunno. because its not like i want to be anorexic, its deadly. it kills. this was a kick in the backside for me, my destination is quick thinness. but when i'm thin enough i will work to keep it that way and start being healthy again. hopefully or i might just continue this diet of mine every now and again. urghh its too complicated! we'll just keep it simple shall we?
me want thin, once me gets thin, me wants healthy but still thin :D

Sorry i went on a bit but i just wanted to make that clear for you all :)
thanks for reading. stay strong xx

ps i know that no one wants to be anorexic, ana just reels you in i know. maybe ana is reeling me in. but i will be strong and be halfway reeled in and reel back out again. thats the best way forward :)

Didn't binge at school. woweee

I am so happy today, now i don't know anything about St Davids day but i think it brought me luck today. i didn't binge at school. maybe because of my diet pill but i dunno.

so here's the list;

Breakfast: one Oreo- 55 cals

lunch; Nothing

home time: 3 Madeira slices; 90 cals

Total: 145 :D

i dunno how i managed. but there is a downside , my mum went shopping today and bought loads of food like coleslaw which is very high in calories etc etc. But i will have my willpower.

hmm i think today my target calorie intake will be 300 cals. so i might have a sandwich or something for dinner. But i am so happy.

**
My hair did catch some attention :)
so there is nothing new in my life atm apart from that and my mums cousin died so she's kinda upset and i hate to say this but it hasn't really affected me since i don't know him but i hate seeing my mum upset. I'm sure all of you hate seeing your mums upset. They do everything for you. honour them, don't be a fucking bitch to them like many chavs in this country.

i might have an update later on but i dunno

love you all stay strong xx